Sometimes I don’t feel like cooking squat. Nope, sometimes I want to just click a button and have something brought to me. This week is “back to work” week for many folks. Those relaxing days when you could plan out meals, research ingredients, take your time preparing something, write shit for your blog – those have given way to the crazed crunch days that come with the digital media industry. Thus I came home last night around 8PM, looked at the refrigerator full of ingredients, and said, “Screw it – I’m getting Domino’s.”
Dominos Pizza isn’t the best pizza by a long shot. I order from them partly because they have the easiest system. I’ve always said, “never underestimate the collective buying power of lazy Americans”, and they seem to have heeded my words and built a web-based ordering system that blows away other online food delivery. It’s all Flash-based, streamlined and gives you a live play-by-play of the process of your order, from prep to delivery. Another reason I keep coming back is they have a great online deal: two large pizzas and a 2 liter drink for under $24. This means I can eat for the next three days for very little money and a few clicks. But the real reason I order from them is they have a cook named Jesus. That’s right, you filthy pagans – JESUS is back. And he’s kicking ass at Dominos.
When I place my order, the online tracker dutifully tells me “Jesus began preparing your order at 8:13PM.” – and I get a sense of great inner peace. Jesus doesn’t skimp on the toppings. Believe me – Jesus knows a thing or two about bread. He gets the crust just like I like it – thin and well-done. Like a giant Communion wafer. Jesus doesn’t goof around in the kitchen either – he hustles that order right out the door. I tip his apostle Paolo well. Consider it a double-tithe at 20%.
Just like Matthew 14: 13-21, Jesus rocks the house with a ton of food and very little up-front investment. It’s a freaking miracle.
